Friday, July 19, 2013

An Unusual Walk

Steve and I headed out on our beach walk this morning, as usual.

But, there was nothing usual about it.

I had no  bags in my pocket and Steve had no treats in his.


I did not go to the little red box to grab a colorful bandana.


And, our precious Dorje was not with us - after 14 years, her legs just gave out.


She came to live with us when she was 1 year old (JP took off on a road trip) and changed our lives for ever.


 She never resented JP for giving her to us.

Yesterday, JP carried her to the vet much like he carried her home the day he found her in a box at Whole Foods in Berkeley his last year of college.


 Friends have brought flowers and cards recounting funny stories about Dorje's antics.

No one mentioned the time Dorje ate 7 pounds, all 7 pounds, of See's chocolate, but the time she devoured a jar of peanut butter was mentioned.


 This morning we found a book sitting on our porch.

We plan to sit around the fire pit tonight and read some of the stories.

Our walk was difficult- people greeted us asking where Dorje was.

Others greeted us with hugs since the word was out that the matriarch of "doggie play group" would not be joining the other dogs for sunset anymore.

We have never lost a dog before because Dorje was the first dog for both Steve and me.


We will remember her as she looked in Steve's painting, Happy Dog, doing what she loved more than anything - running on the beach.

61 comments:

Lisa Tucker said...

Oh...I'm so sorry...you made me cry...our pets are so special to us and I feel your loss. Love and hugs and prayers....

Nantucket Daffodil said...

I am heartbroken for you. Such an emotional week, I truly feel your heartache. To say it is actually a physical pain would be true. It weighs on our heart. I know you will remember the happy times, the love, the licks, the walks. Hugs to you my friend.

Stacy said...

Oh this is very sad news. I am so sorry you lost your sweet companion. I know you will miss her so much.

Corn in my Coffee-Pot said...

Aw.
I'm sorry to hear you lost your beloved pet.
She looked like a very lovable and sweet dog. I know she will be missed.
Steve's painting is endearing.
Your neighbors were all touched by Dorje's life too.
Hope you are comforted by sweet memories.
Pat

Anonymous said...

Carol and Steve,
My heart breaks for you and your family.... I wish there were words to ease the pain of losing Dorje.
Debbi

bobbie said...

Carol ~
I am so VERY sorry for your loss. While I cannot know your particular pain, I do know the heart breaking tragedy of losing one of our loved ones.
I will keep you both in my heart & thoughts ~
May your sweet Dorje be playing with my beloved Duncan on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.
With a tear in my eye, sending you tons of hugs ~
bobbie

Patty said...

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I'm glad you have the beautiful painting.

Vickie @ Ranger 911 said...

I'm so sorry you lost your beloved dog. We only had one dog in our family and I remember how hard those last days were. Time will lessen the pain and you'll think of what a good life you gave her. Your husband's painting is wonderful.

NanaDiana said...

I am so sorry- I am sitting here bawling FOR you! I lost my last pet 3 years ago and just could not bear to lose another. Do you know about The Rainbow Bridge? Here it is just in case you don't know it. I will be praying for you tonight. xo Diana


The Rainbows Bridge Poem

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

LisaS said...

Our pets are so important! Sorry to hear of Dorje's end. Just hoping there's a little doggie heaven out there for our sweet and loyal pet friends.

Terra said...

Your dear dog looks so joyful in Steve's painting. What a heart breaking walk for you, the first without your dear companion.

Mary@mydogsmygardenandmary said...

I am so very sorry for Dorje's passing. I have lost pets and it is so hard, like losing one of your children. Steve's painting is wonderful and you will always have that to remember her by.
Mary

Mimi Sue said...

It's so very hard to lose a little furry member of the family. The worst thing about living with our precious animals is that they don't live long enough! We have had to put down several of our dogs and it is heartbreaking. Our prayers for comfort are on their way to you and your family. Mimi

pugsmom said...

What a beautiful tribute to your dear friend and companion. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sandra

Leslie Harris said...

Oh my friend I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Dorje. This is actually the second time I've been to this post because earlier when I began to read I felt like I knew where it was headed. And there's nothing that makes me sadder than hearing about the loss of a family dog. It's like losing a precious person in your member. I know because we've lost two dogs and each time my heart broke. Time will ease your pain, but I do remember how my husband consoled me by reminding me of what a great life we gave our furry family members. They knew nothing but love and I'm sure that's what Dorje's life was like with you and Steve. I can tell by that wonderful painting.
This was a such a loving tribute and I felt like it gave me an idea of how special Dorje was to you and to everyone that knew her. And call me crazy but I firmly believe that we will be united with our dear dogs someday. Love bonds us forever, it's that simple.
I hope you are comforted by this. Give my condolences to Steve too.
xoxo
Leslie

Betty said...

My heart goes out to you. We lost our beloved Mandy years ago. She was with us for over 16 years. To this day we still miss her, she was family after all.

francis said...

How wonderful you had your dog for so long. It;s hard to let go .I love the rainbow story
and yhe book you have now and the painting and the memories . They all will guide you .
I can see you walk on the beach ...just the two of you .....in silence ......
I send you a hug

Tammy Woodcock said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. It is never easy & this being your first must be shocking to say the least. Even when it's expected due to age or illness, it's still so darn hard to say goodbye or see you later. May God heal your pain, rub your baby's belly for you & see you through with photo flashes of only good memories. HUGS. Tammy

Old Red Barn said...

I'm so sorry. It must be very hard for you and your husband.

Hugs
Goedele

Paula said...

Oh, Carol - I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear old friend. I will be keeping your family in my prayers.

Brittany Ruth said...

Awe so sorry. Dogs are such a big part of families. My husband and I love our Frenchie and it's going to be a sad day when he goes. What a sad post. But it looks like she had a great life!

lynn said...

so sad to hear this, carol. steve's painting is an amazing tribute to her life:)

Vicky Hunt said...

This brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Dorje. Sounds like she lived a full and happy life. Steve's painting is beautiful and I'm sure it will bring a smile to your heart each time you look at it. Enjoy your precious memories.....Vicky

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

This is hard to take. I am convinced that dogs (or another beloved pet), are given to us for a reason. We are the caretakers of the earth and all that is within, and yet THEY or the earth are the entities that move us, change our lives forever. I am with you in spirit my friend. Though I've never lost a pet to eternity, I watch from the sidelines, and it's too difficult to bear.

Peace sweet Carol AND Steve. Anita

My Little Home and Garden said...

I'm sorry to read of the loss of your loving and faithful friend.

Dawn said...

SO sorry your dog has passed. It is just horrible to loose a pet (and we have lost many). On a brighter note: I love your new header.

Suzan Sweatman said...

This was such a hard post to read...............I have a lump in my throat as I type Carol.
It's the most difficult part of having a furry son or daughter - the letting go - saying goodbye -
Have done it too many times -
Much love to you my friend,
Hugs,
Suzan

Junkchiccottage said...

Oh Carol,
My heart goes out to you and Steve. We felt that loss a few months back so I understand that heart ache and sadness. They are such a special part of our lives and when you have to say goodbye it is so difficult. My heart and thoughts are with you. I am so sorry for this loss in your lives.
Kris

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Carol I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Dorje! I know this loss must be so hard for you. My Charlie Kitty is almost 15 and I am treasuring each day with him. Sending you a big hug and hoping your memories give you comfort.

Linda

The Painted Garden said...

Carol and Steve, There are no words I can say to comfort you except to say I am so sorry to hear that you lost your beloved Dorje. May the wonderful memories you have bring you joy during this time of sorrow.
Blessings, Erin

Scribbler said...

I am so sorry -- I know this is so hard, having been there. I feel your pain.

Melanie said...

Oh, Carol...I am so sad for you and Steve. I have cold chills and tears in my eyes from reading this. I am so, so sorry that you lost your beloved Dorje. Hugs and love to both of you.

My Garden Diaries said...

Oh Carol...I am so so sorry! There is nothing worse than losing a friend. Nothing. She was a beautiful dog. I will be praying for you and your family during this time....I am sending you a big hug. I hope that talking about her tonight makes some of the tears go away for a bit...Love to you...Nicole

Butterfly 8)(8 Bungalow said...

So sad for your loss. That is a gorgeous painting of her. I thought it was a photograph!!! Amazing.

Merlesworld said...

It's a sad time but she live forever in your heart, that is a wonderful painting.
Merle.......

Debby said...

Oh my heart is hurting reading this. It is so sad and so hard when we loose these wonderful dogs. They are just so full of unconditional love. It sounds like such a nice place to live where people rally care about each other and their pets. (((((HUGS))))

Miss LindaLee said...

I'm so sorry. We lost a dog as well, and to this day we remember and think of Cathy. She had fallen out of a truck bed when she was just a pup, and my husband saw it happen. He tried to get the driver's attention but couldn't. He went back and picked up the poor hurt puppy and brought her to a vet. Paid the Bill and brought her home two days later. We both fell in love with her. Again,,,,I am so sorry for your hurt.

Betsy@My Salvaged Treasures said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry. This brought tears to my eyes just reading about the loss of your precious companion Dorje. You were so lucky to have each other for so many years.

Acorn to Oak said...

So sorry for your loss. :-(

The Junque Seeker said...

I'm so very sorry! I've had dogs all my life and it only gets harder each time we lose one, but the joy they bring and the happy memories get me through until the next one arrives. If you've never heard of it, google "The Rainbow Bridge." It makes me feel better. Hope it will make you feel better, too!

Kadee Willow said...

I know all too well the pain of having one of the best parts of your life not be there anymore. My precious Annie passed Dec 17th of last year and I still have tears well up in my eyes ... or unexpected gasps of pain when something reminds me of my missing me her so. Right now there is a dead spot in my heart and I have no idea if I ever will be ready to get another. So from one dog parent to another, I reach out and wrap my arms around you both and hold on tight. We will get through this but our four legged child will always be a part of us every day until we get to meet up with them again. Blessings to you....

Mary Clark said...

Oh my. We just lost our Casper last week and now you've lost your dear Dorje, it feels like too much loss. My heart is heavy with and for you, your girl was so beautiful and sweet. Can I just send a hug through this comment, and please know I'll be thinking about you each time I look at Casper's picture.

Mary

Lindley @ The Grinning Labrador said...

I am so, so sorry to here about Dorje. Thank goodness you were able to give her a wonderful life and had such a sweet relationship with her. What a beautiful dog!

Ricki Jill Treleaven said...

:( I'm so sad for you. I love dogs, and this post breaks my heart. Our furbabies mean so much to us, and they forever hold a special place in our hearts. I am so, so sorry about Dorje.

(((hugs))),
Ricki Jill

Stacey said...

Oh I am so very sorry. I know well how it feels to love and lose a dog. We lost both of the dogs that my boys grew up with 3 summers ago. We still talk about them all the time just like they were here yesterday. You never do forget them and their unique ways. I'll be thinking about you. Sending hugs.

Down by the sea said...

I was so sorry to hear your sad news. We know how much our dogs become such an important and big part of our family and it is such a wrench when the time comes to say goodbye. Thinking of you all, I'm sure you will some wonderful memories of your times together but initially life will be hard.
Sarah x

Chel C said...

I write to you with a heavy heart. I was so sorry to read this. I have lost three dogs in my life so far and dread the day when my Coco will leave us. There are no words that could relieve the sorrow you must be feeling but from the comments you have received and the lovely people that surround you, I hope this gives you comfort. With my heartfelt thoughts. Chel x

Poppy said...

Hi Carol,

I am so sorry about Dorje. I have never had a dog as I am allergic to both dogs and cats, but I can sympathize with you as it is a tremendous loss. Steve's painting must be consoling, as it has captured Dorje in such a state of liveliness. I'm sure she will be greatly missed by her beach buddies, as well. She was so loved. Hang in there, my friend.

xo
Poppy

Patti@OldThingsNew said...

My heart breaks for you Carol. What more can I say? I'm so sorry. Patti

Something Nice and Pretty said...

I read your newer post and really didn't understand until I scrolled down, my heart breaks for both of you! I dread the day believe me, Buster is such a part of our lives as yours was. She is so happy walking on the Lord's beach now!

Magali@TheLittleWhiteHouse said...

I couldn't help but cry when I read that post because I know how hard the first days without your dog must be. I hope you'll find comfort in remembering happy memories of her and in the idea that you gave her the best life. I'll be thinking of you.

Jen Kershner said...

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. It's such a hard thing to go through. Sending hugs and healing your way.

heather s said...

Such a beautiful story for such a beautiful dog. Long may she live on in your hearts and in your memories as she runs along the shoreline forever. Sending strength and love today and always. Hx

fiona anderson said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Carol. I write with tears streaming down my face because lying beside me as I type is the wee fluffy white one that means everything to me, and I can only imagine what you're going through.
I am glad you have such wonderful friends and neighbours though it must be hard walking along your beautiful beach, my heart goes out to both of you xx

Laurel Stephens said...

My heartfelt condolences for the loss of your dear friend, Dorje.

CatieAn said...

I am so sad for your loss. Our pets are such an important part of our family and our daily lives. I am happy that your friends and family have been so supportive of you in this time of sorrow. Our kids had to leave their little dog behind when they went to ecuador for a year and we half heartedly adopted her. When the kids came back a year earlier than expected both DH and I thought 'oh no" they are going to want her back and we can't give her up!" They aren't taking her back and we are so relieved and right now they are living with us so Shelka has both her
packs within loving range and is so happy. I love the picture Steve painted of her and what a happy scene to remember her frolicking with you on your daily walks. May your hearts be filled with love and memories.

Laura Daniel said...

By chance, when looking for Cozy Little House, I came across your blog. When reading through you last few posts, I saw this one - about the loss of your beloved dog - I couldn't stop the tears that welled up, for your sadness, and also remembering the precious, pet-family-members we have lost the last few years - our Poodle, who was 14 years old, our Parakeet who was 17, and my beautiful Silver Chinchilla Persian who I got as a baby - she was just shy of 20 years old. Now, we have two wonderful Dachshund boys who are 9 and 7 years old.

I am so sorry for your loss - she will forever live on in your lovely memories of her! :)

Cindy said...

My thoughts have been with you since 'the day'. We helped our Pirta (American Eskimo) across the rainbow bridge 4 years ago. It still smarts. Can you email me directly a mailing address? I have a habit of sending a little something to friends who have lost a furry family member. HUgs! Cindy Connell.crafts@gmail.com

Barbara said...

I was so sorry to read about your loss. I know just how difficult it is. Our 'little Rosie' (Cairn terrier) died four years ago today and there is not a day we don't miss her. It is easier now. We can talk about her and smile and be happy, but it does take time.

Doreen@househoneys said...

There are few things more heartbreaking than losing a beloved pet. I'm so very sorry carol.

Carla said...

Oh my...I'm so sorry to read about your loss. It's funny how these four legged creatures work their way into our hearts and life. My sheltie Dexter is 17 years old and I dread the day he leaves this earth. He's my buddy.
Hugs